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'The Dog with the Waggiest Tail' goes to...


drum roll...drum roll...drum roll...drum roll...drum roll...drum roll...drum roll...drum roll...CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT.............

K10!!!!!


This student (referred to as K10 in the previous blog) is 10 years old and is currently in year 6. I chose this piece because of the consistently high standard throughout:

  1. The story fits the outline (shops, bread, home);

  2. The details tie together to make a cohesive whole;

  3. Stunning use of descriptive language throughout;

  4. Skillful use of punctuation and sentence types, enhancing the dramatic effect of the words.


Here is the full story. At the end, I give the assessor's feedback, broken down in terms of:

  • SPaG (the basics of Spelling, Punctuation & Grammar)

  • Language

  • Structure

  • Originality of ideas

Enjoy!



I've also written my own story, coincidentally also describing a dystopia, but differently. I attempt to give some kind of backstory to explain the gloom (great for clarity, and also to add an extra paragraph of length to your story! - though this shouldn't be the main reason). I've submitted it to a website called Critique Circle as I like to get a range of feedback to test the clarity and learn from other people's suggestions (some advice I discard; others I take on to develop my skills). I will share it in a future blog, but you can see it in its original form at:

https://www.critiquecircle.com/queue.asp?action=lookup&index=186971


Probably you have to join the community to see the story, but this could be a good idea for the ambitious writer.

Warning: my story is a bit gloomy, but it's very much a piece of fiction.


On a more upbeat note, I will be announcing news of a CHRISTMAS WRITING CONTEST exactly one week from today. It is based on the most Chrismassy of poems: Twas the night before???? Full instructions will appear in the next blog...


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